How to "Live Your Bliss"

I'd always heard people say to "Live Your Bliss" and I never quite knew what they meant.  However, this past month or so, I think I've been the closest to being that way that I've ever been.

Last week I decided that I can't do this trip right now.  There are a number of reasons - teaching Seminary, work picking up, grandkids who've asked me not to go, but mostly it's only 8 weeks after my surgery.  I don't recover well from surgery, and my doctors have all prepared me that this one might be a little tougher than normal.  Don't doctors normally tell you how you'll fly through and not to worry?  Well, I am very grateful for doctors who tell me the truth and they both have warned me that this one will take a while to recover from.  If I'm not supposed to drive for 4-6 weeks, I'm a little concerned about driving every day for four months only 8 weeks afterward.

As I prayed about what to do and thought about it, I kept saying, "But I WANT to!"  Just like any spoiled child who hates being told "No," I still wanted it my way.  But finally, when I had to make a decision about what to do about teaching Seminary next year, I just decided that I'd need to put off the trip for a while.  Then every time that I said aloud, "I'm not going on the trip right now," the Spirit just confirmed to me that it was the right decision.  My heart got warmer and started pounding harder, which is my affirmation signal that I've done the right thing.  I love being able to have that confirmation available to me!

I'm not scared about the surgery, but it has been running through my mind many times that I need to be 'ready.'  I feel very strongly that God has told me that everything will be fine, no matter what the outcome happens to be.  So, I've been going along with that and feeling comfortable about whatever happens.

As I've prayed and thought about life in this past month, I realized that there were certain things that I wanted to do and to eat(!) before surgery, just in case it was the last time.  I'm a planner, what can I say?  So, here are some of the things that I got to do that were on my list of things that I really wanted to do:

• I went to my grandson Tommy's school play and got to see him recite his portion of the play perfectly and to sing some really cute songs about bugs.
• I got to spend time on Easter with all of my family - all four sons, three daughters-in-law, and four of the five grandkids.  I'd spoken with Finn the week before, so I've been able to send love to all of them.
• I had some really good conversations with all three daughters-in-law, my mom and my siblings.
• Bob held my hand and put his arm around me at the movies and when we went to the Temple, without my initiating it! (You have no idea what a big deal this is!) 
• We've prepared good food many times, had the missionaries over for dinner and got to visit friends for other meals. 
• We went to a wedding, visited the temple, went window shopping, all fun things. 
• I helped two first time home-buyers buy their first homes which is really wonderful.  I also was able to help a seller through a really tough time when a pipe burst in their house while we were under contract.  
• I attended some awesome classes and got excited about working on my business to become even better. 
• I've been able to teach my terrific Seminary students each day and as an added extra blessing, over the past couple of weeks, I've had the privilege of hearing almost every student pray for me in opening or closing prayer.  That's an amazing gift.
• I had a complaint on my business and a friend's baby died in a choking accident, so I felt some difficult feelings, too. But I think life is about feeling all of the emotions, not just happy ones.
• I enjoyed the wonder of Spring finally coming; daffodils, tulips and crocus pushing through the ground, blossoms popping out on the trees, lambs and little calves in the fields around our home.
• I got to be a speaker in a Relief Society meeting. (That's the women's group in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.)
• I got to sing in the Frederick Stake Choir for the Easter program and enjoyed learning three more portions of Handel's Messiah. 
• I was able to serve others in many ways. 
• I received some wonderful compliments from friends, one that especially affirmed one of my core beliefs about the type of person I want to be.
• I got to be a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother, a grandmother, a friend, a Visiting Teacher, a Seminary Teacher, a speaker, someone who helps someone in need.  All things that I love doing. 
• I got to walk a labyrinth. 
• I ate felafel, lobster, a good steak, aebelskiver, See's candy caramels and many more things that I love.
• I got to go to the movies a couple of times - once with Bob, once with Tommy. 
• Tom and Nick and I played board games together and laughed together a lot. 
• I got to play with Maddison's hair for a little while until she went to play again.  Plus I got to see her without her two front teeth. 
• I was creative and felt really good about finishing three quilt tops and I'm nearly finished with two others. 
• I was able to watch all four sessions of General Conference for our Church and feel spiritually fed. 
• I've listened to good music, read a couple of books, done a bunch of crossword and other puzzles. 
• I got a manicure and pedicure!
• I've worked, I've played, I've loved others and felt much love from others to me.  I've read and studied, learned new things, met new people and been entertained.  I've felt happy and sad and grieved with others. I've felt proud and disappointed.  I've felt gratitude and felt blessed over and over again. 

So now, as I go to have surgery on Tuesday, I don't plan on dying (and my doctors all think everything should be fine), but I feel at peace with whatever happens.  I've done so many things that I've wanted to do.  I'm a little sad about not taking the trip starting in June, but I know it will happen eventually. Just not right now.  

I bought a book at Barnes and Noble the other day called "The Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die" by John Izzo, Ph.D.  The secrets he includes in the chapter headings are: 

• Be True to Yourself
• Leave No Regrets
• Become Love
• Live the Moment
• Give More Than You Take

I haven't read the book yet, but I think I've done pretty well on all five of those topics.  I have no regrets and I have been blessed to feel completely overwhelmed with love - both FROM friends and family and FOR them, too.  

I do hope that I will be able to come and visit all of you soon.  God bless you.  

Much love. 

Judi

Creating a Schedule

I am feeling so loved right now!  

I have found that there's not much that will make me feel more loved than asking if I can spend the night at someone's house and getting all of the responses that I've read!  It's truly humbling and amazing. 

From Facebook on Jan 23rd: 

"Do you want to know the most amazing thing about planning ‪#‎ThisCrazyTrip‬ ? People are so good! Even if I can't spend the night at their house, they are bending over backward to help me have a great trip. I've had offers of money, showers, food, explorations in the area and today, two people said, "Well, we won't be home, but stay at our house anyway!" One of these people has never met me in person. I'm overwhelmed by the kindness of my friends. smile emoticon Thank you."

Since I started sending out the letter, three days ago, I have had three offers to spend the night even if the homeowners won't be there.  I've been offered showers, a gym trip, a whale-watching trip, a day at the Monterey Bay Aquarium, a night out in Branson to see a show, homemade meals including famous fried chicken and a Brazilian dinner.  I've been offered money, sponsorship, gift cards and other help. 

When I've asked for one night, I've had friends say, "Just one night?  You can stay longer if you want!" When I mentioned that I was planning to camp out in Yellowstone even though I was a little wary of the bears, my sister Sandy even suggested "I'm completely just throwing this out there (aka don't count on it) but are you allowed to stay in a hotel "if" the guest pays for it?  For instance, I've never been to Yellowstone so I might want to visit around... hmmm, maybe July 18th.  If I happened to fun in to you there and I happened to have a pre-paid hotel, could you stay with me without jeopardizing the success of your crazy trip?"

(My answer, in case you're wondering, was "Sure! I'd stay in hotels the whole way if someone would pay for them!") LOL 

Honestly, there's not much that warms my heart more than a response from someone that says, "We would LOVE to have you stay with us for whatever you need."  

Sniff. My heart is full. :)

THE BIG WHY

THE BIG WHY

In Real Estate coaching, and especially at Keller Williams where I work, we are often asked to decide upon our "Big Why".  What is the One Thing that makes us want to do what we do?  It can change from time to time, as we meet our goals or as our needs change.  My big Why for Real Estate has most often been my family.  I sell Real Estate because I want to be able to provide for my family and I want to work in a business that allows me to be available to my family when I am needed.  Real Estate allows for a more flexible schedule.  That generally means that I don't make as much money as I could if I would really work harder, but I like that I can work when I want to.  Some people wouldn't think that I was very successful because I don't make a ton of money, but to me, I AM successful because I'm living life as I want to live it... I spend a lot of time with my grandkids now, and was able to spend a lot of time with my children when I felt that they needed me to be home in past years.  I have clients who have become great friends and who refer business to me because they feel that I've done a good job for them, and being less busy than many of my fellow Realtors means that I can give my clients pretty much undivided attention as they need me.  Since I have a husband with a great job, it's a Win-Win for me.

When I decided to do this trip, it meant taking more than four months off of doing my job.  That's a pretty tough thing to do financially, even with my laid-back style of working lately.  I'm still recovering from knee surgery, so I haven't been very active and this allowed me the freedom to step away from my job for the time it will take to do this trip.  I'm a little conflicted about walking away during our busy time of the year, though, even though I'm very excited about doing the trip.

So, why am I taking this trip?

Several years ago, when our youngest son, Matt, was in middle school, I wanted to try homeschooling him and I thought it would be a great idea to drive around the country, visiting zoos.  I would get him involved by writing a book about all of the zoos and have him give a kid's perspective and I would write the adult perspective about each of the zoos.  My husband, Bob, was not as excited as I was.  Neither was Matt.  So, that idea went out the window.

Then last year, I wanted to visit my mother who lives on the West Coast near Portland, Oregon.  I live in Maryland.  My ADD-addled brain's thought pattern went, "Wouldn't it be fun to drive there?  Oooh!  If I'm driving there, I could take Tommy (our grandson, who was 7 at the time) and we could visit his other grandparents in South Dakota.  Oh!  And we could take a different route on the way back and visit his other great grandmas who live in Oklahoma and Kansas...  Oh, and we could see all these great sites... " You get the idea. Sadly, Tommy wasn't interested and Bob, again, thought I was crazy.  We ended up flying to the West Coast.

Driving around the country has long been something that I thought would be fun. A little grueling, perhaps, but fun.  Bob and I don't get along so well when we travel together, so going alone is probably the best choice for our sanity and our marriage.  No sense throwing away a perfectly good 33-year marriage for one trip around the U.S.!  LOL

As I've said before, it started out as a "What If..." project.  Almost a joke, in fact.  But the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to do it.  It's now become almost a reality!

Brian Buffini is a real estate coach who I have followed for years.  I love the things he teaches and his idea of doing "Pop-Bys" is something that I've tried to do at various times, though I have not been good at it in the past couple of years.  He suggests that we should Pop-By our past clients with a small gift, reminding them that we are in the real estate business and thanking them for their past business with us.  We should also ask for referrals and build our business in this manner.  When I was doing Pop Bys, I was doing a good amount of business just from the referrals I received from my friends and past clients.

I thought this trip would be a great way for me to Pop By to see many of my past clients who have moved to other places and a good way for me to get in touch with other Realtors around the country.  Referrals between other Realtors is a good part of business, too.

But this trip couldn't just be about business.  It needed to be about something more than just me.  I have been a speaker for Heifer International (www.heifer.org) for at least 10 years.  They are an organization that I believe in and trust. So, I'm trying to figure out a way to make this be a fund-raiser for Heifer International, also.  My friend Laura Scott suggested that I make a Flat Stanley type project with Judi the Heifer and take pictures of a flat cow everywhere I go.  What a fun idea!  I think I might change the name, though.  LOL

So, here are my BIG WHYs.
1.  Pop By past clients, friends, family and other Realtors to enhance our relationships and become better friends.
2.  See the Continental U.S. and hopefully get enough sponsors through Kickstarter to go to Alaska and Hawaii.
3.  Raise money for Heifer International.
4.  Prove to my husband (and others) that I can travel around the U.S. for free.
5.  Have fun!

At my bridal shower nearly 34 years ago, the attendees were asked for their words of wisdom for me as a new bride.  My sister Linda wrote, "Always Have Fun!"  Some people laughed, but it is the only thing that has stuck with me and it is still my creed.  So, Always Have Fun!

An Accidental Dare

It Started As An Accidental Dare From My Husband.

I've been wanting to travel around the US for some time now, it has probably been two years since I first thought about it seriously.  But the costs involved in hotels, gas, or renting a small motorhome or camper just made it impossible.  Not to mention time from work and from teaching.  It just wasn't going to work.  Until Bob said, "You can do it, if it doesn't cost anything."

Bob doesn't remember saying that (based upon the expressions I get when I mention the Accidental Dare.)  I don't know, maybe I dreamed it.  It's possible these days. 

Ten days ago, on January 7th, I posted THIS on Facebook:
          "I've been wanting to take a trip around the US visiting friends and family along the way for quite a while now - probably a couple of years. Bob said I can if it doesn't cost anything. LOL I was trying to figure out a way to do that and realized that I have Facebook friends in probably every state. This is totally in the "What if..." stage at the moment, but what do you think? Would you let me camp out on your couch for a night as I came through town? LOL I know a good portion of my 1600+ friends in real life, but a lot of you I've never met. I'm trying to figure out a Social Media Experiment here - what if I could get around the US just by the goodwill of people I know online? Am I crazy to try this? I think it would be a fun blog!!"

I got a much larger response than I'd hoped for, so I started going through my friends list on Facebook.  I found that it's pretty difficult to just READ through my Friends list.  It changes each time I go to the list and it's not in any order, nor can it be sorted into any useful configuration.  So, I did a search for A's.  Only about 20 people showed up.  Ummm. That can't be right!  So I did a search for Aa, then Ab, etc.  Occasionally, I'd have to search for four letters in order to get down to less than 20 people, and I still missed a few people.  After a few days of working on this, I thought I had a pretty definitive alphabetical list of people and where they lived.  I knew people in 47 states and 26 other countries!!  I sorted that into states, then I mapped those cities onto a blank US map.

I took the state lists and rated each person #1 through #5.
1.  People who offered to have to me stay or I don't need to ask.
2.  People I feel comfortable asking.
3.  People I might ask if needed.
4.  Public figures, single men or others I will never ask if I can stay.
5.  Ignore.

Then I took my #1s and #2s, marked them on the US map and last night I finished creating a route than went through every state, visiting everyone on my list.

During this time, friends had asked me about paying for gas and food and if that counted in my "no cost" rule.  I thought I would ask a car dealership to loan me an electric car for the trip, but after searching for Electric car charging stations throughout the US, and knowing my route, that's not feasible. (Which made me sad, since I really wanted to drive a Tesla!)  I made a list of all electric cars and all electric-gas hybrids to see which types might work best for this trip. 

I came up with the following cars, based solely on a few articles:

Cadillac ELR
Chevy Volt
Ford C-MAX Energi
Ford Fusion Energi
and the new Audi A3 E-Tron

the Toyota RAV4 EV would have been terrific, too, but it's been discontinued.

My son Eric suggested that I talk to rental car agencies instead of dealerships, which is a terrific idea since they are nation-wide instead of local and would be more likely to loan me a car in exchange for free publicity for a few months.  And today, my friend Francine Speaker asked if I had spoken to any company like Subway for free food?  No!  I hadn't even thought about it!  I think I'll contact Cracker Barrel, since I would happily eat there every day for several months.

Since this is looking more likely to happen, I decided that I'd better start a blog and get everyone up to speed on how this started.  Now you know the HOW, next time I'll talk about the WHY.